You ever seen a home grown, good old southern boy? You know, the kind of guys who have lived in the same place all their life, can’t afford to move anywhere else and have them ripe, fun accents that Hollywood likes to make fun of? Very often these guys are a little unkeptly in appearance and need some physical and dental work. Well, as of last night, I’m back to my east Texas roots.

my toofy is broken!

Ya see, when I was a little chap of about 9 or 10 years old, I got into an accident. Rather, I forced myself into an accident because I didn’t know any better. I was riding my friend’s bike, which had faulty brakes (although, I don’t think they were horrible but they did work). So I came around the corner going just 15-20MPH, maybe faster who knows, when I decided to just run into a brick wall because I thought I’d just bounce off of it with no impact. Because you know, rubber does bounce!

Well, stupid 9 year old me didn’t consider that speed would be a factor so that wall just kicked my butt. I was knocked unconscious for a little bit before a ambulance came to pick me up. I don’t even remember any of that part because I was totally gone. So as you can see, half of my tooth didn’t make it and to this day I have no idea where that tooth is. Probably just dust in the wind at this point.

So, about 17 years later, the only real signs of this accident left are a knot in my upper lip and this half tooth. Only, you wouldn’t have really known I had half a fake tooth unless you knew me well. The dentist built some enamel on the tooth that was supposed to be temporary, but I guess temporary was 17 years!

Last night as I was enjoying a delicious, tasty spring mixed salad I suddenly crunched on something. Right then I knew something was wrong but I assumed it was just another chipped tooth. Well, after chewing a couple of times to make sure it wasn’t just a hard piece of bacon, I found the tooth and pulled it out of my mouth. It looked a little too big to be just a chip, though.

So, I went up to the mirror. With all my food still in my mouth, I opened it to reveal what you see above.

Oh crap!

Luckily but unfortunately, my tooth is dead. No blood, no pain, nothing. So I spit out all the food in my mouth and began digging for the other half of this broken enamel but couldn’t find anything. I think I swallowed it.

Normally, someone else with this kind of fracture would have to go to the emergency room, but I just see this as an annoyance that’s going to force me to go to the dentist and get it crowned. And the worst part is we have no dental coverage.

What a week this has been. It starts out wonderfully and ends half a tooth in my stomach. Or maybe it’s in my intestines by now? Who knows. No matter, the weekend is here and life goes on.