hearing hurts

I was desperate.
I had to fix this.

Upon entering the Urgent Care center, I was anxious to get through this not knowing how long my wait would be. No one was waiting in the waiting room. It made sense after my visit ended.

After the routine check on my vital stats, I waited for about four minutes before a large, leathery doctor entered the room. Not one crack on his face showed his desire to help me. As cold as ice, this man shortly inquired about my condition. Two views into both of my ears indicated that he saw ear wax.

I followed him into another room where his nurse prepared to hold water below my ear. He mumbled for me to turn 90 degrees away from him with my right ear facing him. A nurse held a plastic box full of water below my ear. Then, as I watched his finish connecting the water pik, he slowly thrusts a cold, metal tube pretty deep into my ear.

WOOSH.
OW!!

I felt a very high pressure of water threatening to burst through my ear drum into my middle ear. The pain of such high water pressure in my ear made me cringe. Not only did it hurt, but it started messing with my other senses. I sat there, eyes shut tightly, teeth gritting, body tense. This pain was unbearable.

“Turn around,” he said.

Rinse and Repeat.
Unbearable pain, intense pressure, extreme loudness. This time, however, I looked into the water to see several pieces of ear wax, one as large as two peas. It was unbelievable that this was causing me so much discomfort.

He did this a couple of times to both my ears before we went back to the other room and verify my ears were unclogged.

“You may go,” he mumbled in a low, monotone voice.

As I walked to the waiting room, I noticed my center of balance was off. Whatever pressure was exerted to my ears had caused me to lose some balance. It was slightly simliar to being intoxicated, but luckily lasted only a couple of minutes.

This better be the first and last time I ever have to go through that. I’m now a little concerned that my ears are worse than they were before.

listening through a tube

french kicksMy ears aren’t happy today. Last night, however, they were ecstatic. I was joined by a couple of new friends to accompany me to a French Kicks concert. We were front row, just feet away from the band. Seeing them live was great since I’m a relatively new fan of their music.

Today, however, I feel like the world is in a tube. I can hear half of what I was able to hear last night. When people talk, it sounds like my tubes are cutting out half of the timbre and tonality of their voice.  So, if there’s a lot of noise in the background, it’s not that I can’t hear the person talking. I just can’t always make out what they say.

Although these earplugs are rated well for me, Hearos branded earplugs don’t work for me as advertised. Supposedly, the rating for hearing protection with these plugs are better than standard plugs you’ll find at any drugstore, but my experience unfortunately has left me half deaf. Sadly, I’m already half deaf as it is so this is tragic. I can’t say I’m a little upset at my experience too but I really had little to no control over the situation.

I love seeing good music, I really like supporting bands by going to see them. I do not, however, like going deaf. It’s back to the cheap foam earplugs!

balls

Balls.

Just as I was leaving childhood and entering adolescence is when the pool full of balls was really popular. You know, it’s that thing that all the kids go jump in. They used to be at Burger King. They still exist at Chuck E Cheese. I only remember a few occasions where I played in that pool of balls because I don’t remember them being too common at my younger age.

Now I’m older. I know what happens when kids of all backgrounds and kinds of cleanliness play in the pool of balls. I’d love to jump in a huge pool of plastic balls again without remembering how many stinky, unwashed, germ filled feet and bodies have touched each and every ball. But I can’t. I’d probably still dive in but I’d feel so unclean afterward.

It’s time like this that I miss childhood.
Ignorance is bliss.

Dear Internal Revenue Service

When I decided to look at my bank account tonight, I noticed you left me a present. I didn’t even ask you for one and yet I’m richer than I was just one day ago. Good times.

Although I appreciate your charity, I’m a little confused. Where is this money coming from? When I look at the amount of debt the US has, it makes me wonder from whom we’re borrowing to stimulate our economy? See this site? Most of the numbers on this site are flowing in the wrong direction. These numbers also mean you’ve sent me some kind of magical money that our government doesn’t have.

I see the Federal Reserve lowered interest rates just recently. This also means they are printing more money. Hmm… Doesn’t printing more money, “magical money” like you’re giving me, basically stimulate inflation? But wait, I thought this was an economic stimulous package?

My TV broke a couple of months ago and I’ve been eyeing a new one. But wait, doesn’t a lot of the money go back to the manufacturers of the TVs? Bummer. Most of the TV makers are foreign companies. So I guess buying a brand new HDTV isn’t going to do much, is it.

I think I’ll just store this money in my savings account until I need to take it back out to pay for my rent. So much for stimulating the economy.

IRS, thanks for the good effort but how about next time we look at better solutions.

Sigh.

Signed,
Micah